The Matrix Online: I'm the One! I'm the One! I'm the One! I'm Spartacu… dammit!
I honestly thought this was going to tank when Ubi pulled their funding. It just felt like ‘tanking' to me. Really, I got all vegas on it's ass, and made a bet, twenty to one, that it would sink faster than a fat man dipped in liquid gold. And now Guido is after my kneecaps.
What can I say? It lives, and, reportedly, it's not half bad. Well, not half bad in an Asheron's Call 1 sort of way. I mean, admittedly, it's about the size of gnat on the comparative World of Warcraft radar, but it's still an MMO, it uses a major IP, and there are people out there who not only ‘play' it… but, hey, they also l-li-like it.
I'm still not entirely sure what to make of those people, but reading about their experience has actually got me thinking I might give it a try, despite my near concrete reluctance. After all, I can't really, in my ignorance, argue that they're all obviously out of their freaking mind. Now, after I ‘try' the game, that's when I can come back and reaffirm my suspicions that MxO gets most of its subscribers from popular insane asylums around the world.
Guildwars: I Think It's Just a Codename For a Pocket Pussy?
I've had a bunch of run-ins with this game. Every single one left me, uh, how should I phrase it? Spent? But not in a good way. More in the sort of way, where I always walked away unable to quite figure out what was lacking, but never doubting that something indeed was lacking.
It always felt like ‘nearly' a game to me. Don't get me wrong. It was smooth. And pleasing to the eye. And free of monthly charge (though I'm still very skeptical how this is going to work out). And, well, there was, like, pvp, and, uh… stuff.
See. I just don't get it. It didn't have the appropriate whoring of Diablo to pull me in, the skill sets, while possibly perfect for PvP, never left me inspired. And the entire design of the very core gameplay/combat, left me just shrugging my shoulders. I would never go as far to say it was ‘bad', but I just can't bring myself to call it good.
The weird thing about this though? The fact that I've been adamantly opposed by THE WORLD ITSELF. Not to mention, possibly, a deity or two and the whole of mankind. Literally, the cosmos themselves oppose me on this. Maybe I'm just GuildWars retarded or something. Maybe I'm missing a gene, and I'm simply handicapped, and people should look down at me and say: “poor boy, he was born that way you know?”
I don't know. I just don't get it. The fact that everybody, their dog, their grandma, and the entire yahoo collective think this game is shin diggly damn awesome, makes me wonder what I missed? The only thing I can think of is that, in game, the interface literally jacks you off, and I simply missed that quest or something… damn.
Either way, the game thunders along with critical acclaim, and a glorious procession, but I think everybody is still waiting to see how the ‘pay for content' revenue model works out. I'm a skeptic, but then hey, I'm a GW handicap right?
Ultima Online: EA Hates Richard Garriott
Well, we knew that a long time ago. But of course, the fact that Ultima Online has become nothing more than a piece of interpretive abstract art, manifesting itself in a metaphorical entity, that essentially exists, makes no money, and existentially shits on Lord British, continuously, is really, just pure gold.
In case you missed that, elves. Ultima Online got elves. Do I need to say anything more? This is what EA gleefully does in it's free time. Oh. And kicks kittens. Lotsssss of kittens. Moving on.
SOE. Blizz. Sigil Games. NCSoft. And other miscellaneous misfits, forthcoming.